February 2010
53 posts
contreras, is what they call me.
me: i really have to read.
mom: well stop sending texts and being on the internet.
me: i'm not texting.
mom: all i hear is your phone beeping...
me: my phone hasn't rang all day...
mom: hahahahahaha
January 2010
71 posts
that's my girl...
Me: (my dad walks into work at 650 am. katy, kasandra, and i are standing in a circle doing absolutely nothing)Hey Dad! Fancy seeing you here.
Dad: I know. I'm going to do a little bit of work.
Me: That's fun. This is Katy and Kasandra.
Kasandra: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS HAVE THE SAME SMILE!
Katy: What can I get for you sir?
Dad: I want a grande soy, no foam, latte. (starts pulling out his wallet)
Katy: ok. don't worry about it, sir.
Dad: oh well thank you.
Katy: (on the headset) I'm trying to win brownie points.
“…I can’t think of any greater happiness than to be with you all the time,...”
– Franz Kafka
“I am a cage, in search of a bird.”
– Franz Kafka
“Sometimes, only paper will listen to you.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
– Oscar Wilde
“There are still a few men who love desperately.”
– J.D. Salinger
Milam is the bomb!
Amanda: Remember guys, when you're on drive. YOU HAVE TO DOMINATE THE CONVERSATION!!!
Amanda: (a couple of minutes later) Hi thank you for choosing Starbucks, this is Amanda. Can I start you off today with a skinny cinnamon dolce latte?
Customer: No, can I have a grande white mocha.
Amanda: Sure. So that's going to be a grande white mocha. Can I interest you in a... (customer drives away)
Justine: Hey Amanda, you let the customer dominate the conversation.
Me: *high fives Justine* HAHAHAHAAHAHHA THAT WAS AWESOME!!!
at work...
She was sad... like really really sad.
me: hello, welcome to starbucks, would you like to try a skinny cinnamon dolce latte today?
customer: um, i want to try something with sugar free syrup
me: well ma'am we have sugree vanilla,sugar free hazelnut and of course sugar free cinnamon dolce
customer: oh okay, well i will try...the cinnamon dolce one.
me: ok, sounds good. would you like a tall?...it only has 90 calories.the sugar free syrups do not have calories, so your basically just getting the calories from the milk
customer: oh ok, yeah a tall is good.
me: oh and ma'am,if your watching your calorie count, keep in mind that each espresso shot has five calories
customer: ayyyyyyy
me & zarina: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The little Mermaid
she sucked at everything else, why not that too…
kemoses:
Zarina: I love you
Me: My heart just skipped a beat. I love you too.
Zarina: :) … How gay do you think the little mermaid thought we were?
Me: She can suck it!
Mug Award
I bet we all get fired if Amanda finds our blogs… haha
kemoses:
Zarina: from Beto: … and that time I kicked amanda on the knee (I refuse to capitalize her name)
Me:Haha! what he kicked her. I hope on purpose. lol
Zarina: He didn’t, but the other day I asked Micheal in front of customers if he remember the time he hit me on the face with a closed fist, so beto decided that he had kicked...
Rum Cake
kemoses:
amanda: I’m going to start buying cakes for all the birthday people during the month. I’ll start with January.
Me: Well amanda mine and Zarina’s cake will be for our 21st birthday. So can um we have rum cake?? (turns to Zarina and lifts knee gotta love the captian in you)
My Backwards Walk
I’m working on my backwards walk Walking with no shoes or socks when the time rewinds to the end of May I wish we’d never met then met today I’m working on my faults and cracks Filling in the blanks and gaps When I write them out they don’t make sense I need you to pencil in the rest I’m working on drawing a straight line I’ll draw until I get one right So bold and dark,...
customer: can you just fill it up 2/3 of the way.
cheryl: how am I supposed to figure that one out?
customer: oh... i'm sure you can figure it out. you have a college degree.
me: in english...
cheryl: yeah...
i own a sword.
me: ... i hate her even more, you don't make my wife almost cry.
katy: i'm slightly turned on by your defensiveness.
me: then it's working. don't worry i'll cut her next time i see her.
katy: cut her? like with a knife or a fingernail. but i guess i shouldn't care.
me: more like a sword...
morning shifts are dirty... and busy.
Kasandra: Friend, at what time is your break tomorrow?
Me: At 1:30...
Kasandra: We'll go have lunch with you tomorrow...
Katy: Wait, what if I already have plans tomorrow? *points at herself and me* booty call.
Me: Oh yeah... It's a three hour long break.
Katy: What if I just want to hold you after we're done... i don't need food, just sex.
Kasandra: You better watch it, she'll put it on her blog.
Me: *done!*
“Welcome to Storder… I mean Welcome to Starbucks, go ahead and order when...”
– Katy Mosley
“you are worth waiting a lifetime for, and i would if you ask.”
troubles at work. there is no separating me and my...
Monica: Zarina, Katy was mine way before you ever came along...
Me: I don't care.
Katy: We're separated. I choose Zarina.
Marcie is the best person ever created. She has...
Beto: We're alcoholics.
Marcie: No, sweetheart. We're drunks. My mama didn't race no quitter.
All: HAHAHAHA
me: you know when you're talking to someone and they're like 'thank you' and you start saying 'no problem' but you're thinking 'you're welcome' and you end up saying 'no welcome'?
lisa: no
me: oh...
“Everything is the way it is because everything was the way it was. Sometimes I...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer
“When I looked at you, my life made sense. Even the bad things made sense. They...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer
stuff I say to make Michaels life a little worse.
Me: Michael, remember that time you hit me on the face with a closed fist?
Customer: *stares at him*
Michael: Sir, I swear that never happened.
“I try to live life so that I can live with myself.”
– John Green
“Once, I was a master at recycling leftovers. Now I cultivate the art of...”
– Jean-Dominique Bauby
“Do you work tomorrow? More importantly. Do you work with me tomorrow?”
– My future wife.
longest day of my life. yet pretty much the best.
me: (calls out to the whole store) grande chai ready at the bar...?
katy: was that a question?
me: (kneels down defeated) ...yes.
Watchmy faves.
Watchyeah, i love her.
tots, come back and have these thoughtful...
rosie: what's it called when you like pain?
me: masochism.
rosie: no. isn't that when you eat your own kind
me: no...
rosiea: oh yeah... that's cannibalism.
why is this so funny?
me: so i'm out of women studies. i'm taking women in literature. so i'm going to have to find a new topic of conversation.
kelly: hahahaha! now there isn't anything interesting about you.... kidding!
“We slept in the same bed.
There was never a right time to say it.
It was...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer
ms. mosley.
Me: ...so i'm like a little bird barely learning how to flap my wings, and Katy throws me on drive through bar.
Erica: that's what actually happens with birds. The mom pushes the birds out of the nest...
Me: yeah, but you're my mom. Katy is more like my wife.
Katy: Even a better reason to throw you out of the nest.
katy needs to be a part of everyones life
Me: I'm a badass.
Katy: Yes you are.
Me: I already love you. You don't need to give me more reasons to do so.
Katy: Lol it's always nice to be reminded tho. Can't let love fade.
Me: So true. Everyday I wake up look in the mirror and say 'you are a badass, and you love katy'
Katy: Lol best way to start the day.
Me: Why do you think I'm always so happy?
Katy: Lol I on the other hand think 'shit it's early and i'm cold and now I have to pee. 'But right as soon as I can think straight it's you. You make the bad go away.
